Funny status for whatsapp

Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing suggesting.

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. HER HEART.

I look at people sometimes and think. . . Really? That's the sperm that won.

Seeing a spider is nothing. The problem is when it disappears.

How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

She is so fake that she should have two facebook accounts; one for each face!

Learn then remove 'L'.

Ladies, when you have got a king, don't reshuffle the pack, because you might end up with a joker.

That awkward moment when you realize that 'Deleting History' is more important than 'Creating History' nowadays.

When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said.

I look at people sometimes and think …. . Really?? That's the sperm that won.

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she's not coming back.

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Online by public demand .

Mans are many but money is money.

College is the best place to enjoy life happily, nothing else can beat that.

If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying. ".

Funny status in English for Facebook and Whatsapp

I just want a boy thats gonna say he loves me without my makeup.

I know you look on my status.

Study economics-when you're unemployed, at least you'll know why.

When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the. .

There are no winners in life. . . only survivors.

When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the….

God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

Life is short. . . smile while you still have teeth.

Reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don't have a girlfriend.

I Wish My Paren'ts Were Like Google. They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete.

Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

By all means marry if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

That awkward moment when you realize that "deleting History" is more important than "creating History" nowadays.

always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

If you can't Change a Girl. . . . . Change the Girl.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Girls worry about the things that guys forget. Guys worry about the things that girls remember.

Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!

Status Unavailable Check Later.

Top Funny status for FB in English

e all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.

Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.

A man falls in love through his eyes, a women through her ears..

Cool thing only happen when you don't have a camera.

omen should not have children after 20. Really 20 children are enough.

Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?

Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

I find it so inspiring to watch people lazier then me. I still have much to learn.

I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button.

Give me some sunshine Give me some rain Give me a another girlfriend So I ENJOY once again .

Installing love. 44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.

Non-urgent calls only.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

life is short…smile while you still have teeth.

f you can't Change a Girl . Change the Girl.

veryone has an annoying friend. If you don't have one, it's probably you.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

hat awkward moment when you realize that deleting History is more important than creating History nowadays.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Without ME, it's just AWESO.

Latest Funny status in English

When A Man Steals Your Wife, There Is No Better Revenge Than To Let HI'm Keep Her.

think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I'm still at school.

One wise guy invented Whatsapp and his wife added last seen feature.

I have all the money I'll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p. m. today.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

The women cries before the wedding and the man after.

I want to change my name on Facebook to "No One," so when I try to add people, it will say, "No One wants to be your friend. ".

Google just called… Google said, "Someone is looking for you".

Women's mind is like a weather it may change anytime.